david brooks writes today that there are large class differences in parenting styles. these different parent styles may explain the continued success of the upper class. hey, this fits in very well into the parenting theme week at 11d. thanks, davey. (and thanks, jeremy, for the early morning e-mail.)
david picks up on the work of annette lareau who finds that although working class children are more innocent and enjoy more freedom, they havent been prepared for economic success as well as upper class kids. (i have copied the whole article below the flap. take that, times select)
the funny thing about academics is that although they are highly educated, they are poorly paid. they are socio-economic anomalies. they either reside as the poor shlubs in wealthy neighborhoods or as the weirdoes in working class towns. we’ve been the class outsiders for my whole life, and i’ve had the chance to observe both life styles closely.
there are huge differences between the parenting styles between the upper and working class families. poor families respond less quickly to learning problems and are less aggressive with the school bureaucracy. they are less likely to verbally interact with their kids. they are less involved in homework activities. middle and upper class parents are more likely to reward independent thinking. all those factors will definitely impact on their kids’ futures.
but i hope that brooks and his pet academic aren’t insinuating that parenting styles alone impact on a child’s economic success. way too many other factors there. poor families are also likely to live in towns with poorer schools. peers will be more troubled. the poor families will be coping with a variety of problems that make it hard to be good parents – financial stress, drug and alcohol problems, lack of health care, depression. and really smart kids can in many instances over come all that and succeed, though even the smart ones still face obstacles. i would love to know if the researchers controlled for all that.
these parenting differences also don’t negate our obligation to helping these groups reach their potential.
that said, i’m sure that parenting styles are one factor among many that determine a child’s socio-economic future. my kid is already on such a different path from some of his buddies from school. at six years old, their futures are already written on their faces.
what i would like to do is to take the best parts of both parenting practices. somehow combine the respect for adults, the freedom, and the innocence of working class homes with the value for education, the aggressive independence, and confidence of the upper class. it’s a tricky line to navigate, but that’s what i’m going for.
Dear leaders, teachers, dear students.
Good morning, everyone!
I am Ma Haidong of the 2 class of martial arts science. It is a great honor to stand here, representing the 2011 graduates of the Institute of animal science and technology, to say goodbye to our alma mater, to teach our teachers tirelessly, to say goodbye to the classmates at sunset, and to say goodbye to this unforgettable time. First of all, let me, on behalf of all the graduates, express our heartfelt thanks and respect to all the leaders and teachers who have worked hard.
Four years, more than 1400 days and nights, it sounds so long, and when we face today, we feel that it is so short. Some people say that time is a book that is too hasty. Now when it hastily passes, these more than 1400 nights carry too many memories. I cant forget the freshness and confusion when I entered the school. I cant forget the figure of my learning building in the teaching building. I cant forget the laughter and laughter of your bedroom, and I cant forget you and me on the sports field. The scene of the scene is like a gorgeous clippings, a movie that is coming to the curtain, playing our happiness and sadness, recording our youth and past, and witnessing our profound feelings. Believe that the university days of acid, sweet, bitter, spicy to everyone left a precious memory; four years of learning to believe that the university will become an inexhaustible driving force for each of our future development; believe in sincerity, simplicity, courage and perseverance will be the wealth of our life.
Four years ago, we dreamed of dreams and hoped to meet the farmers. Four years later, we will go to everywhere to cherish our love for our alma mater and create our own brand new tomorrow. In the four years of western agriculture, we have experienced the age of the first year of innocence. We have gone through the light dance and flying of the sophomore. We witnessed the rapid development of alma mater and college, and also witnessed the continuous growth of ourselves. We learned to analyze and think, to learn to cooperate and to compete, to learn to inherit and to innovate, and to further learn how to surpass and break through their own limits. Now we are graduating. All these warm memories will be engraved on our hearts. It is the most memorable day of our lives.
Today is a happy day, an exciting day, and a thankful day. On this day, we finally put on the sacred bachelors clothing, and successfully ended our four years of college life. After this day, our university life will draw a full end. We will say goodbye to the students who get along with each other, say goodbye to the teacher, bid farewell to the beautiful picturesque campus, and step on a new journey. But we will never abandon the drip in the West Farm, never forget the teachers advice in the confusion and hesitation, never forget the sincere greetings of the students when they are sad and sad, because there are our most brilliant youth, because this beautiful youth is integrated into the selfless love and students of the teachers. Sincere feelings.
In the face of alma mater, I would like to say thank you, thank you for alma mater to provide us with learning environment, and build a solid platform for our growth and success.
Facing the college, I want to say thank you and thank the leadership of the college. The teachers care and education for us over the past four years is your hard work. Lets make constant efforts in the family of kinetic Sciences, which is a united and vigorous family.
Facing the teacher, I want to say thank you, thank you for the hard work of sweat, unselfish dedication, countless days and nights of ploughing, giving us a sober mind, a pair of eyes and a hearty soul, which is the truth that you have given us professional knowledge and taught us to be a man.
In the face of my classmates, I want to say thank you, thank you for your mutual care and support in the past four years. I think you will always cherish this feeling just like me. On the occasion of the parting, I would like to speak to the alma mater and the college on behalf of the graduates. We will not forget that we are a proud West farmer, and will not forget that he is a proud moving person. Students are about to travel. Please allow me to represent all 20____ graduates.
I wish our leaders and teachers good health and good work.
I wish our fathers and mothers eternal youth and good luck.
I wish our Northwest Agriculture and Forestry University and our animal science and Technology Institute every success.
I wish our 2022Annual graduates a bright future!
Thank you.
Cutting through complexity to find a solution runs through four predictable stages: determine a goal, find the highest-leverage approach, discover the ideal technology for that approach, and in the meantime, make the smartest application of the technology that you already have — whether it’s something sophisticated, like a drug, or something simpler, like a bednet.
The AIDS epidemic offers an example. The broad goal, of course, is to end the disease. The highest-leverage approach is prevention. The ideal technology would be a vaccine that gives lifetime immunity with a single dose. So governments, drug companies, and foundations fund vaccine research. But their work is likely to take more than a decade, so in the meantime, we have to work with what we have in hand – and the best prevention approach we have now is getting people to avoid risky behavior.
Pursuing that goal starts the four-step cycle again. This is the pattern. The crucial thing is to never stop thinking and working – and never do what we did with malaria and tuberculosis in the 20th century – which is to surrender to complexity and quit.
The final step – after seeing the problem and finding an approach – is to measure the impact of your work and share your successes and failures so that others learn from your efforts.
You have to have the statistics, of course. You have to be able to show that a program is vaccinating millions more children. You have to be able to show a decline in the number of children dying from these diseases. This is essential not just to improve the program, but also to help draw more investment from business and government.
But if you want to inspire people to participate, you have to show more than numbers; you have to convey the human impact of the work – so people can feel what saving a life means to the families affected.
I remember going to Davos some years back and sitting on a global health panel that was discussing ways to save millions of lives. Millions! Think of the thrill of saving just one persons life – then multiply that by millions. … Yet this was the most boring panel Ive ever been on – ever. So boring even I couldnt bear it.
What made that experience especially striking was that I had just come from an event where we were introducing version 13 of some piece of software, and we had people jumping and shouting with excitement. I love getting people excited about software – but why cant we generate even more excitement for saving lives?
You cant get people excited unless you can help them see and feel the impact. And how you do that – is a complex question.
Still, Im optimistic. Yes, inequity has been with us forever, but the new tools we have to cut through complexity have not been with us forever. They are new – they can help us make the most of our caring – and thats why the future can be different from the past.
The defining and ongoing innovations of this age – biotechnology, the computer, the Internet – give us a chance we’ve never had before to end extreme poverty and end death from preventable disease.
Sixty years ago, George Marshall came to this commencement and announced a plan to assist the nations of post-war Europe. He said: "I think one difficulty is that the problem is one of such enormous complexity that the very mass of facts presented to the public by press and radio make it exceedingly difficult for the man in the street to reach a clear appraisement of the situation. It is virtually impossible at this distance to grasp at all the real significance of the situation."
Thirty years after Marshall made his address, as my class graduated without me, technology was emerging that would make the world smaller, more open, more visible, less distant.
The emergence of low-cost personal computers gave rise to a powerful network that has transformed opportunities for learning and communicating.
The magical thing about this network is not just that it collapses distance and makes everyone your neighbor. It also dramatically increases the number of brilliant minds we can have working together on the same problem – and that scales up the rate of innovation to a staggering degree.
At the same time, for every person in the world who has access to this technology, five people dont. That means many creative minds are left out of this discussion -- smart people with practical intelligence and relevant experience who dont have the technology to hone their talents or contribute their ideas to the world.
We need as many people as possible to have access to this technology, because these advances are triggering a revolution in what human beings can do for one another. They are making it possible not just for national governments, but for universities, corporations, smaller organizations, and even individuals to see problems, see approaches, and measure the impact of their efforts to address the hunger, poverty, and desperation George Marshall spoke of 60 years ago.
Members of the Harvard Family: Here in the Yard is one of the great collections of intellectual talent in the world.
What for?
There is no question that the faculty, the alumni, the students, and the benefactors of Harvard have used their power to improve the lives of people here and around the world. But can we do more? Can Harvard dedicate its intellect to improving the lives of people who will never even hear its name?
Let me make a request of the deans and the professors – the intellectual leaders here at Harvard: As you hire new faculty, award tenure, review curriculum, and determine degree requirements, please ask yourselves:
Should our best minds be dedicated to solving our biggest problems?
Should Harvard encourage its faculty to take on the worlds worst inequities? Should Harvard students learn about the depth of global poverty … the prevalence of world hunger … the scarcity of clean water …the girls kept out of school … the children who die from diseases we can cure?
Should the worlds most privileged people learn about the lives of the worlds least privileged?
These are not rhetorical questions – you will answer with your policies.
My mother, who was filled with pride the day I was admitted here – never stopped pressing me to do more for others. A few days before my wedding, she hosted a bridal event, at which she read aloud a letter about marriage that she had written to Melinda. My mother was very ill with cancer at the time, but she saw one more opportunity to deliver her message, and at the close of the letter she said: "From those to whom much is given, much is expected."
When you consider what those of us here in this Yard have been given – in talent, privilege, and opportunity – there is almost no limit to what the world has a right to expect from us.
In line with the promise of this age, I want to exhort each of the graduates here to take on an issue – a complex problem, a deep inequity, and become a specialist on it. If you make it the focus of your career, that would be phenomenal. But you dont have to do that to make an impact. For a few hours every week, you can use the growing power of the Internet to get informed, find others with the same interests, see the barriers, and find ways to cut through them.
Dont let complexity stop you. Be activists. Take on the big inequities. It will be one of the great experiences of your lives.
You graduates are coming of age in an amazing time. As you leave Harvard, you have technology that members of my class never had. You have awareness of global inequity, which we did not have. And with that awareness, you likely also have an informed conscience that will torment you if you abandon these people whose lives you could change with very little effort. You have more than we had; you must start sooner, and carry on longer.
Knowing what you know, how could you not?
And I hope you will come back here to Harvard 30 years from now and reflect on what you have done with your talent and your energy. I hope you will judge yourselves not on your professional accomplishments alone, but also on how well you have addressed the worlds deepest inequities … on how well you treated people a world away who have nothing in common with you but their humanity.
Good luck.
my dear mr. and misses, my fellows schoolmates,
good morning! as you know and see, it is a sunny bump harvest season. in the city, in our school campus, everywhere is surrounded with roses which we together planted 4 years ago. today may these roses and our friendship as well be together and comfort our excited hearts!
it was four years ago that everyone of us came from every part of china and formed a new collective. as we are young, it’s very easy for us to communicate. it was in the past four years that we were ambitious. it was in the past four years that we worried. it was in the past four years that we were content. it was in the past four years that we were vexed. it was in the past four years that we were friendly and lonely ... and it was in the past fours that we studied, lived and respected each other with genuine and with our ambitions. nothing in the world is more significant than we miss all of these.
my dear mr. and misses, my fellows schoolmates,
good morning! as you know and see, it is a sunny bump harvest season. in the city, in our school campus, everywhere is surrounded with roses which we together planted 4 years ago. today may these roses and our friendship as well be together and comfort our excited hearts!
it was four years ago that everyone of us came from every part of china and formed a new collective. as we are young, it’s very easy for us to communicate. it was in the past four years that we were ambitious. it was in the past four years that we worried. it was in the past four years that we were content. it was in the past four years that we were vexed. it was in the past four years that we were friendly and lonely ... and it was in the past fours that we studied, lived and respected each other with genuine and with our ambitions. nothing in the world is more significant than we miss all of these.
we miss you─teachers who are tireless in teaching; we will keep your gestures and your white hairs in our hearts deeply; we will miss the quietness with the lights at night in the classroom; we will miss the race and exercise on the playground; we will miss even the crowds in the dining hall and the quarrel on the beds; we will still miss every green piece and every piece of waste paper flying like flakes in the air ... however, today we will leave nothing but the first rose with our alma mater and our teachers which is entrusted with our love and respect.
4 years seems very long but 4 years seems very short. from now on, we all will go into the society. the society is broad and wide for us. we will shoulder heavy responsibilities; we will work diligently; and we will expect to be informed of good news from one another. now, i beg you all to cherish the occasion; to remember the names, the status, appearance and the character of the person around you. now let’s be hand in hand together; let’s present the rose to each other. may the rose carry our appreciation and blessing! we are very closely linked no matter what the world may be. may the fresh rose in our hands keep its fragrants!
thank you all again!